Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Terrible idea I love it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
