I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
