Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
