just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize