I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
