I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
