Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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