I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
