And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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