Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
