I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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