I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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