right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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