I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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