My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think pants incapable of making pants work
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
