My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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