They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
