ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
