She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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