can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
