I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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