I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
