rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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