my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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