glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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