My hand turned me down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
