you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
