Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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