i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
