i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
