tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
