But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
