do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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