best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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