so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
