I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize