margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
