If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
