it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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