from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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