What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
