so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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