she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she told me i tasted like america
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
