the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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