he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize