Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
