Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
