Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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