I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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