DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
