my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
