Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
