It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
