Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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