if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
