Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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