I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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