So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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