It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
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Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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