K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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