Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
