Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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