This girl is more easily done than said...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
