Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize