I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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