....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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