We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
