Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
