the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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